And this story, about 2 guys awarded the moral equivalent of the keys to the city of Kilkenny, Ireland seemed perfect for kicking off some chatter.

One awardee is a hurling coach, the other’s a retired speaker of the Dail. The two have been given “the freedom of the city” and are entitled “Freemen of Kilkenny.”

Ok, so the frack what?  There’s some historical interest there, since the privileges conferred date back to the 13th century city charter.  A freeman gets to “drive his sheep or cattle through the main street.”

Ah, but down the centuries, somebody/somebodies bethought themselves “uh…sheep/cattle, whatever, how do we update this thing and really reward a Freeman?” To quote:

The honour also entitles the freeman the right to be put in a cab and taken home if he is found drunk on the street by a policeman.

Sweet Jesu! Immune to public intoxication charges, and it’s up to the copper who’d otherwise arrest me to get me a cab! That’s freedom, it is.

“I’ve been associated with Melody for several years in various capacities: fellow graduate student, long distance moving co-pilot, and fellow Guinness Quality Control associate. Melody has always brought 110% to whatever she is doing, and I have yet to meet someone who is as passionate, intelligent and well-spoken, no matter what level of intoxication she may be under. I know Melody will always bring a level of vivaciousness unparalleled in any organization, from boardroom to bar room.”

it’s the perfect combination of bullshit writing with nothing but the truth. love it.

Today as I logged in to LinkedIn to accept a connection request, I noticed a bar to the right that said “People you may know.” I happened to know everyone on the list, amazingly. Usually this was because we worked at the same company or went to the same school. One took me by surprise, though: my aunt. She’s my mother’s sister, so we do not have the same name. We also did not go to the same school, and I am not in the same industry that she works in (advertising). HOW DID THEY KNOW?!?! I think LinkedIn may be taking over the world… their algorithms are THAT GOOD. That, and the algorithms have ESPN.

These are the best e-cards I’ve ever read!!! Especially this one.

That’s a far cry from what “every high school graduate should know,” isn’t it? What percentage of American high school graduates could even define half of these words? College-bound graduates who plan to study literature or law should know all these words, certainly, but for most participants in our fabulous post-literate American society, command of these words would be an impressive but kind of quaint skill, kind of like calligraphy. It’s getting to the point where it’s impressive when people bother to spell out the word you with all three letters, so worrying about whether they can define evanescent is getting a little ahead of ourselves.

It’s a fairly interesting list, though. The only one I had to look up was moiety — “each of two parts into which a thing is or can be divided.” Ah well.

Yesterday was one of the more pointless hangovers you’ll have in a drinking career. Pints at the pub on Sunday night (4), followed by coming home to grill burgers. And with a keg of Guinness sitting right here, what else was I to do? Couple more pints, followed after everybody went to bed by a couple more. I found myself sitting downstairs watching SpongeBob at 3:30 in the morning with another pint on the rail still settling out. What in the hell do you think you’re doing? I asked myself, but, hey, it wasn’t like it was that new pint’s fault that I was being an idiot. It didn’t deserve the death penalty.

So, the combination of 8-ish pints and four-ish hours of sleep left me a little, uh, deliberate yesterday. And sensing my weakness, the boy went in for the kill — he spent the whole day wanting to wrestle, which means he basically got to beat the shit out of me for free, as I was really too out of it to defend myself. Hung over, tired, and with a two-year-old jumping up and down on your balls sucks, for those of you who haven’t had the pleasure. Zack seemed to be amused by the whole thing, though.

Hey, at least I didn’t just start drinking the hangover away at noon like I could’ve. I’m convinced that I deserve some Father Of The Year votes for that…

second, as for me – in following my last post – i have to explain here that although i feel a bit bad about cutting and pasting and such, i think it’s a far better alternative to you having to read about me. my life just isn’t as interesting and i just don’t write as well as the authors of the cut & paste-worthy pieces out there. that being said, that doesn’t mean you can’t be subjected to reading about my opinions.

so, topic today: africa. more specifically, i’m quite sick of the continent. i have been for quite a while, ever since it became trendy to crow for food and financial aid, whether by a UN official, bono or some other garden-variety celeb. the “i am africa” ads especially pissed me off (because gwyneth paltrow had the gall to paint her face and call herself african), as did bono’s stupidly-named and even more stupidly-run “one” campaign. and now this:

if you hadn’t seen these, the idea is a game of telephone to “spread the word” on africa. i especially love how bono’s name is prominently featured as if the mere printing of his name would inspire millions. that was also the idea behind “one” and look where THAT got him.

i fully realize how insensitive and callous i sound. but my distaste stems from compassion, believe it not. with apologies to mr. keen from my previous entry, i’ve featured below some excerpts of a 2005 interview by german magazine spiegel, with kenyan economics expert james shikwati. shikwati’s views are likely controversial to several of you (if you have not already heard them), but they merit a closer look:

SPIEGEL:

Mr. Shikwati, the G8 summit at Gleneagles is about to beef up the development aid for Africa…

Shikwati: … for God’s sake, please just stop.

SPIEGEL: Stop? The industrialized nations of the West want to eliminate hunger and poverty.

Shikwati: Such intentions have been damaging our continent for the past 40 years. If the industrial nations really want to help the Africans, they should finally terminate this awful aid. The countries that have collected the most development aid are also the ones that are in the worst shape. Despite the billions that have poured in to Africa, the continent remains poor.

[...] SPIEGEL: Even in a country like Kenya, people are starving to death each year. Someone has got to help them.

Shikwati: But it has to be the Kenyans themselves who help these people. When there’s a drought in a region of Kenya, our corrupt politicians reflexively cry out for more help. This call then reaches the United Nations World Food Program — which is a massive agency of apparatchiks who are in the absurd situation of, on the one hand, being dedicated to the fight against hunger while, on the other hand, being faced with unemployment were hunger actually eliminated. It’s only natural that they willingly accept the plea for more help. And it’s not uncommon that they demand a little more money than the respective African government originally requested. They then forward that request to their headquarters, and before long, several thousands tons of corn are shipped to Africa …

SPIEGEL: … corn that predominantly comes from highly-subsidized European and American farmers …

Shikwati: … and at some point, this corn ends up in the harbor of Mombasa. A portion of the corn often goes directly into the hands of unsrupulous politicians who then pass it on to their own tribe to boost their next election campaign. Another portion of the shipment ends up on the black market where the corn is dumped at extremely low prices. Local farmers may as well put down their hoes right away; no one can compete with the UN’s World Food Program. And because the farmers go under in the face of this pressure, Kenya would have no reserves to draw on if there actually were a famine next year. It’s a simple but fatal cycle.

SPIEGEL: If the World Food Program didn’t do anything, the people would starve.

Shikwati: I don’t think so. In such a case, the Kenyans, for a change, would be forced to initiate trade relations with Uganda or Tanzania, and buy their food there. This type of trade is vital for Africa. It would force us to improve our own infrastructure, while making national borders — drawn by the Europeans by the way — more permeable. It would also force us to establish laws favoring market economy.

SPIEGEL: Would Africa actually be able to solve these problems on its own?

Shikwati: Of course. Hunger should not be a problem in most of the countries south of the Sahara. In addition, there are vast natural resources: oil, gold, diamonds. Africa is always only portrayed as a continent of suffering, but most figures are vastly exaggerated. In the industrial nations, there’s a sense that Africa would go under without development aid. But believe me, Africa existed before you Europeans came along. And we didn’t do all that poorly either.

SPIEGEL: But AIDS didn’t exist at that time.

Shikwati: If one were to believe all the horrorifying reports, then all Kenyans should actually be dead by now. But now, tests are being carried out everywhere, and it turns out that the figures were vastly exaggerated. It’s not three million Kenyans that are infected. All of the sudden, it’s only about one million. Malaria is just as much of a problem, but people rarely talk about that. SPIEGEL: And why’s that?

Shikwati: AIDS is big business, maybe Africa’s biggest business. There’s nothing else that can generate as much aid money as shocking figures on AIDS. AIDS is a political disease here, and we should be very skeptical.

[...]

SPIEGEL: Following World War II, Germany only managed to get back on its feet because the Americans poured money into the country through the Marshall Plan. Wouldn’t that qualify as successful development aid?

Shikwati: In Germany’s case, only the destroyed infrastructure had to be repaired. Despite the economic crisis of the Weimar Republic, Germany was a highly- industrialized country before the war. The damages created by the tsunami in Thailand can also be fixed with a little money and some reconstruction aid. Africa, however, must take the first steps into modernity on its own. There must be a change in mentality. We have to stop perceiving ourselves as beggars. These days, Africans only perceive themselves as victims. On the other hand, no one can really picture an African as a businessman. In order to change the current situation, it would be helpful if the aid organizations were to pull out.

SPIEGEL: If they did that, many jobs would be immediately lost …

Shikwati: … jobs that were created artificially in the first place and that distort reality. Jobs with foreign aid organizations are, of course, quite popular, and they can be very selective in choosing the best people. When an aid organization needs a driver, dozens apply for the job. And because it’s unacceptable that the aid worker’s chauffeur only speaks his own tribal language, an applicant is needed who also speaks English fluently — and, ideally, one who is also well mannered. So you end up with some African biochemist driving an aid worker around, distributing European food, and forcing local farmers out of their jobs. That’s just crazy! SPIEGEL: The German government takes pride in precisely monitoring the recipients of its funds.

Shikwati: And what’s the result? A disaster. The German government threw money right at Rwanda’s president Paul Kagame. This is a man who has the deaths of a million people on his conscience — people that his army killed in the neighboring country of Congo.

SPIEGEL: What are the Germans supposed to do?

Shikwati: If they really want to fight poverty, they should completely halt development aid and give Africa the opportunity to ensure its own survival. Currently, Africa is like a child that immediately cries for its babysitter when something goes wrong. Africa should stand on its own two feet.

the sad thing is, world leaders again pledged a renewed development package to africa at last week’s G-8 summit. with the exception of his views on AIDS – being dismissive of it doesn’t make it go away, even if it’s less of a problem than is marketed to the West – i think shikwati is trying to convey a viewpoint that is often lost on americans who get a little too caught up in the hype (global warming is another example, but that’s another fight for another blog).

“intellectual kleptomaniacs”

“digital thieves”

“exuberant monkeys”

“cut and paste” ethic

if you haven’t yet heard of andrew keen (best known for music startup audiocafe in the 90s), you should probably pay attention. especially those who are also contributing to this blog. all those catchy little names above? keen is calling YOU out.

reuters recently posted a wire story on keen’s call for intellectuals to “straighten” up the web, to put it mildly (emphasis throughout mine).

“Millions and millions of exuberant monkeys … are creating an endless digital forest of mediocrity,” Keen writes in a book published Tuesday.

saying his book isn’t designed to be fair or balanced, but a “grenade,” the report continues:

The title of his polemic, “The Cult of the Amateur: How Today’s Internet is Killing our Culture,” attacks what he calls the “cut and paste” ethic of Web users, who he says are robbing professionals of their livelihoods.

[...]

Keen calls for efforts to balance out the Web’s powers of instant publishing  against society’s need for accountability.

some people aren’t taking so kindly to keen’s blog snobbery:

Some of the biggest names in Internet publishing are hitting back against Keen, including video blogger Robert Scoble, media critic Jeff Jarvis, citizen journalism advocate Dan Gillmor and blog pioneer Dave Winer.

Jarvis, on his blog BuzzMachine, refers to Keen’s thinking as “Snobs.com.” He recently asked readers to advise him whether he should bother to debate Keen or shun him. The outcome was that the two have agreed to debate online.

i, for one, will be interested in seeing that debate. check out what keen himself has to say at his blog. keen likes to back up his views with a bit of philosophical in-your-face, citing hannah arendt and jurgen habermas as influences. habermas said last month in a speech, “The price we pay for the growth in egalitarianism offered by the Internet is the decentralized access to unedited stories. In this medium, contributions by intellectuals lose their power to create a focus.”

for my part, i just took great ironic pleasure in copying, pasting and adding emphasis to keen’s quotes. i can see from where his views stem, and to some degree, they make sense. but really – how does keen think he’s going to stop this?